If you’re feeling the need for a little boost in self-esteem, try these simple ways to feel more confident, instantly!
Here’s a statistic for you: A large portion of the American population (roughly 85% as of 2010) has low self-esteem and/or lacks confidence. That’s huge when you think of how important confidence is in our everyday lives. We sometimes struggle to find ways to gain confidence in ourselves. But making a few small changes can really boost your confidence and make you feel more empowered.
Because here’s the thing: Most of us are doing our best on a daily basis. We try to be good spouses, good parents, good employees, good citizens, etc. So we should feel confident in ourselves!
Here are just a few simple ways to feel more confident.
Stand Up Straight
“Walk tall” is what our parents always told us. Well, at least mine did. But being “the tall girl” always made me want to hunch, and in doing so I felt small. Standing up straight, holding my core, and focusing on my posture brings about a sense of confidence in me, and I feel kind of like a bad ass sometimes just by standing up straight.
Trust Your Gut
Have you ever felt like you just knew something was off, but you went against your instinct and it felt dis-empowering? Seriously, if you ever have that feeling, trust your gut. Push those other feelings aside and trust that you know what to do. In doing so you will focus on what you see/know/want and you will be able to hone your energy in on that idea; all your power will go there, and you’ll feel confident in your decision.
Don’t be in competition with others
Probably one of the easiest ways to feel like crap about yourself is to compare yourself to someone else. But we all have done it at some point. We usually compare ourselves to people who have more than us, or seem happier than us, or are more fit than us (just to name a few). What we need to do is focus on ourselves and if we want to (insert what you want here: have more money, to be more fit, be a better friend, be a better lover, etc.), look inward, and remember that sometimes what we see is just the highlight real of someone’s life. We see the 20% that’s above the water, when the 80% that’s lurking below could be pretty bad.
Sounds simple right? But you’d be surprised at how many people walk around with frown on their face, and how that affects their confidence. Focus on smiling, and I promise people will smile back. Instant confidence booster right there!
Celebrate your wins
In my experience, I’ve noticed that many people tend to focus on the negative aspects of their lives. They don’t celebrate the good parts. I know I do it all. the. time. with my kids. We’ll have a good day and a few bad moments in the evening and I will find myself just thinking about the crap that happened for like 20 minutes. This is why I think keeping a journal is so empowering. It helps me reflect on my day, see the good and the bad, and focus on what I’m thankful for (read this post for some journal ideas). Those good moments of the day are brought to mind and I’m able to focus on the wins we had that day.
Maybe you had to give a presentation to some big wigs at work. Instead of focusing on the fact that you fumbled your words once or twice, celebrate the fact that you just presented in front of some pretty high up folks in your company. There’s almost always something to celebrate in each day, and I know I always feel more confident when I’m able to focus on the positive.
When someone gives you a compliment, do you typically feel like you need to explain yourself? We do this all the time as Americans! “Jane, I really like your dress!” “Oh this thing is so old, I don’t know why I even still keep it around.” Instead, try a simple “Thank you” next time. I don’t know why we feel like we always need to explain things away, but it’s so common for us to do. Accept the compliment and you’ll feel so good.
Try something new
For me, it was going back to the gym. And yes, I was super nervous the first few days. I mean, I hadn’t been to a traditional gym in 5 years! I don’t know why, but I felt like I was wearing a big sign saying, “Gym newbie,” even though I’d spent a huge portion of my life in gyms. But now, I know where all the equipment is, I see a lot of the same faces, I have my spots where I workout, and I feel so much more confident. It just took me stepping out of my bubble and getting a little uncomfortable for me to really shine and give me a huge boost of confidence that I needed.
Confident people inspire confidence in others. If you can make a few small changes and step out of your comfort zone, I bet you’ll be feeling a boost in self confidence in no time!
I think #3 is so important!! Great post and tips girl! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
oh I loved this post! Perfect for a Monday! One thing I teach in seminars for start-ups is to “win the day”-where you identify at least one thing you can celebrate that day on a very long journey. Might save this post for the next newsletter I send to them!
I LOVE this post! These are all so important, and they all work! Accepting compliments is one that I sometimes struggle with, but honestly if someone takes the time to compliment you then you should feel good about it!!!
Trust your gut! Girl yes. My mom was the best at that and she taught us to do the same. If something doesn’t feel quite right, chances are it’s not.
Great tips! Why is it we all struggle with accepting compliments?!
I’ve always struggled with accepting compliments and always justify like your example. I’ve been working on just saying thank you and I like it. It feels so awkward to me but I’m trying! And yeah, I grew up hunching over because I hated being the tall girl in school.
Great list Tiffany – and man I have to work on some of these.
I slouch all the time (probably because initially I was trying to hide my oversized breasts… and now it’s simply out of habit). I also really struggle to take a compliment – I’m super-dismissive when someone compliments me. Ugh – I’m sure it’s annoying to others too.
Thanks for sharing.
Jennifer you are so not alone! I used to be super dismissive when taking compliments as well, but I found that when people would do the same to me, it was super annoying. So I stopped doing it and it feels so good!!!