that’s one of her “I’m pissed” faces
I never thought I’d say this, but I am so glad the weekend is over. K was out of town for a bachelor party so it was just Little A and me. I was so looking forward to our girls weekend, until it was here. And it was a hot mess. Literally. It was 90+ degrees all weekend and with no AC that made for miserable sleeping, which made for a cranky 3 year old. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in the state she was in. I was also not at my finest with the heat and her behavior. It’s looking like we’ll be getting no reprieve from the heat in the coming weeks. I just hope we can learn to cope better.
Not just this weekend, but over the last few months Little A has been less than appreciative, and Huebie and I are feeling it. She is wanting something new every day, wanting different meals, just acting very ungrateful. I get that this is typical toddler behavior, but for us, it’s new. It hit us hard. Little A has always been a sweet little girl, but things around our house have been stressful lately, with her new found behavior.
So a few months ago we finally decided to make some changes. We want our daughter to be appreciative of the things she has. So we took her toys away. Not all of her toys though. We left most of her learning toys out for her to play with. Building blocks, puzzles, games and books all were left out for her to play with. But her dolls, stuffed animals and all the other random toys she has were hidden away.
We thought it was going to be a tough pill for her to swallow. We thought, “it’s been a rough day already, but we need to brace ourselves for when she realizes her toys are gone.”
But then that moment didn’t come. She asked where some of her things were; her princesses (she has 7) and her race car track. She said she wanted a few of her stuffed animals. And then she started to play with the toys she had available to her. And in that moment I knew. I knew she would be okay with having less. I knew she would find a way to love the toys she did have to play with and not cry and pine for her missing toys. Sometimes she would ask if we gave such and such toy away to kids who don’t have any toys (we do donate stuff to needy families often) and we’d say no, her toys were just put away. Or yes, we donated this toy, and after getting a little upset, she’d accept it. And I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew she was learning and beginning to understand that sometimes we can’t have everything and that’s okay. It’s not the end of the world.
After about a month, she would ask for a toy that had been put away, so we’d give it to her. Because she was being so good! She wasn’t asking for new things constantly. And now that she has all her toys back…..we’re back to square one with the asking and constant wanting. Sigh. I feel like I’m at my whits end some days. The whining is like nails on a chalk board to me! It’s hard to take her to the store with us because she is always asking for something. And gets upset when she leaves empty handed.
[Tweet “It’s not always easy to teach our kids the hard lessons in life. But so important.”]
So we’re doing it again. We’re taking the toys away to make her appreciate what she has….again. And let’s hope this time we’re more successful. I think we may just get rid of a lot of them. She really doesn’t need all that she has.
It’s not always easy to teach our kids the hard lessons in life. I was so afraid to take away her toys. I didn’t want to! She plays with all of them. And being an only child she only has us to play with most of the time, so toys are a big deal. But now I see that she can do more with less and she has the maturity to accept what she has and not wish and cry for a new toy. She’s learned about people who don’t have as much as she does, and she’s actually enjoyed donating some of her clothes and toys to other families. She was so appreciative the last time we went through this exercise and I know she can learn to appreciate once again.
I know this won’t be the last time we have to take something away from her to make her appreciate what she has. But I think it’s the only way for her to learn and understand.
Fingers crossed.
Question of the day: If you have kids, have you been through this behavior? What has worked for you?
I think you guys are doing the right thing and I honestly can’t imagine how hard it is to be raising a child in this day and age, but I feel like all our parents did it right so we should just copy them lol! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
First, sending you a big, loving hug through the internet!
Second, Henry has already started some toddler behavior. He used to eat whatever we were eating, veggies and all. Now he will only eat fig newtons and strawberry nutrigrain bars and string cheese. He’ll literally spit anything else out in our faces. He used to be SO good when we’d go out to eat; now he screams and throws food – sometimes. Just enough for us to still go out and every now and again get really embarrassed by him and his behavior.
I know it’s a stage. But man, is it hard! They say the toddler years are the hardest because their brains begin really functioning but they don’t yet have the tools to communicate their wants/needs/ideas. A major contributing factor in having our kids so close in age was that they’d be able to play and learn from each other in a few years, and hopefully make the burden on us less. That’s the hope! We’ll see. I don’t think there is one “easier” way to do it. It’s all hard, this parenting stuff.
I commend you for doing something that is hard to help your daughter grow. I’m not a parent, but the trials of raising a child are not completely lost on me. I’ve watched all of my sisters go through very similar experiences with their children.
The hard lessons now will teach some of the most important lessons.
I think that’s such a great lesson for her to learn. Y’all are being great parents by teaching her something that’ll form the kind of woman she grows up to be. 🙂 And wait, I thought y’all bought an A/C? No? I’m sorry y’all were so hot! I can’t imagine no A/C though next week I’ll be experiencing it in Honduras.
Good for you guys!! That’s a great lesson to teach her although I’m sure it wasn’t easy! I notice Scarlett getting a little more “threenager” attitude these days and we’ve definitely cut back on buying her things. I don’t want her to think that she can have whatever she wants when she wants it.
It’s been SO HOT here too and we don’t have AC. I’m dying! lol
So sorry it was a rough weekend girl. I so admire your desire to try to teach her and instead of giving her more, you are taking away! What a beautiful lesson that even if she doesn’t fully understand now, she will later
Hang in there! You guys are great parents and teaching A good traits and habits. It will take time for her to realize these lessons but just know you guys are doing the right thing 🙂
It is a phase and it will pass! Don’t you hate when people say that!!! I can say it though because Ive lived through it three times and more. The secret..well, now it isn’t, but establish early (which is now) the rules when you go out. Preschoolers are at an age of understanding more than they lead you to believe, so establish your boundaries. And be consistent in your consequences. The fours are just around the corner!!
HAHA, it seems to be what everyone says. I know it’s true, but it’s so hard when you’re right in the middle of it! Praying the 4s will be much easier. So far 3 has been the hardest.
Sorry you are so frustrated. I can see Palmer starting to venture into this stage and I want to stop it before it starts. We are in the not-listening stage right now and it’s more than frustrating. Ugh, toddlers!!
Good luck with the heat wave. We have definitely been feeling it too…gah!
Yes! We’ve been through this too. We’ve taken toys away and we rotate them so it’s never a lot of stuff all at once. It’s a bit of work on our part. When my oldest turned four, we gave her money (like a weekly allowance) and if we were out and about and she wanted something, we explained she would have to pay for it and she had X dollars. She rarely asks for things because she knows, she has to pay for it.
My youngest is almost four but not quite cognitively-emotionally ready for this approach but when she is, she’ll be getting the same treatment.
Thanks for sharing. I hope things get better for you.
It’s hot here too!!
xoxo
Ohmygosh, we are in the same boat with our 4 year old. Today I actually had to just put my head down on the table and breathe because I felt like snapping at him. He’s SO demanding, rude, unappreciative, etc etc etc. I try to remind myself that he’s 4 and doesn’t really understand yet that the world actually DOESN’T revolve around him, but I need to seriously work on helping him be more considerate. It is HARD to constantly be treated like that, even if it’s from a small child who doesn’t really know better. Good luck, sounds like what you did with the toys really helped her!
I’m sorry it’s been rough! I definitely remember those days and they do get better. Hang in there Friend! xoxo