Have you ever had those moments in your life where you realize that all people care about is themselves and money? I had that moment last week. Okay, that may sound a bit dramatic, but that’s exactly how I felt at the time.
K and I have been throwing around an idea of a new venture we want to start. We think it would be a great fit for us and are super excited about it! I reached out to someone I know through blogging and their side business to get some advice. Just a quick email was all I was asking for. It could have taken this person less than 10 minutes to respond to my 2 questions.
Instead she told me no. She told me no! This person I looked up to and admired and was looking to for help. She said no, she wouldn’t help me.
And I cried. I sat at my desk at work and took deep breaths and held back the tears as best I could. But I was a little heartbroken. Alright a lot heartbroken. Heartbroken because when did helping one another turn into it being all about the money? When did answering emails and helping our fellow mommy turn into consulting?
You may think I’m silly for having cried, but I was so excited (and a little nervous) when I wrote the email the night before. I was excited to be taking the first steps to starting this new business that could change our lives. Excited because this person I was reaching out to always talks about helping out other moms and her and her husband have made a great life for themselves by helping others. This person blogs about inspiring other moms and supporting one another.
But she couldn’t support me.
I understand that everyone’s time is valuable. I understand that time is money and we all have things going on (did you read my post last week? We’re definitely a busy family.). I wasn’t asking for a consultation (I work with consultants in my job every single day. I know what consulting is). I was just asking her to answer a few quick questions for me and she said no.
I’ve been working on saying no more often as well. I’m not always successful at it, but I’m trying. But I can honestly say I would never say no to someone coming to me asking for advice. Especially another young parent wanting to start something that I’ve had great success with. If they were looking for a long term consulting relationship, that would be different. But even the greatest consultants, motivational speakers and entrepreneurs give a bit of advice for free every now and then.
But ya know what? It’s alright. That short interaction taught me something. Fear of failure and fear of rejection are two major fears that people have and yes, I was nervous to send that email, and when I was rejected it was demoralizing. But our true character shows in how we deal with rejection and failure. Do you let it beat you down and continue to demoralize you, or do you get up, dust yourself off and press on? I chose the latter.
[Tweet “Our true character shows in how we deal with rejection and failure.”]
So yes. I was let down by a fellow blogger. A fellow mommy. And I was heartbroken. But it only made me more motivated to succeed. It also inspired me (in some backwards way) to be there for other women. To be there to support them, and help them, with any questions they may have. To surround myself with women that inspire me and who I hope to inspire. Because isn’t that what life is about, loving and supporting one another?
Sorry for the disappointment, Tiffy, but what a great takeaway. Using this as motivation and resolve for the woman that you will choose to be. Love you, friend.
That is just so sad – you know why…not because she said no, but because she’s clearly not a true person to what she “preaches” on her blog!! I’m not sure I read her blog, but if I knew who it was I wouldn’t be a fan! xo, biana – BlovedBoston
Friend! So glad you were able to make the most of the situation, even though it does make me super sad that she wasn’t willing to take some time to help you!! I got nothing but love for you girl!
Thanks Caroline! I’m glad I came out with a fresh perspective and drive to succeed. It was really disappointing, but those things happen and it’s all about how you handle the situation in the moment and what you take from it that shows true character.
Sorry you were let down like that, but some of our biggest and best moments come from disappointment and wanting to prove yourself! You are amazing, and you’ll make things work for yourself, with or without the help of others!!
How disappointing. Especially when it’s been someone you admired. 🙁 Keep on going! I know you’ll do great with whatever it is you two are shooting for. xo
So frustrating! But I say keep going with whatever venture you are looking into. Don’t let others bring you down with their negativity…you got this girl:)
Ugh, that’s so frustrating and disappointing! But you are right in saying it’s how we deal with it that defines us. Good luck in your new venture!
Are you serious?! This makes me so sad, and I probably would have cried too. Asking someone for help, even if it is just a question or two is putting yourself out there so I can understand how disappointed you must have felt. I don’t know if they’re a blogger that does offer consultations or something, but hopefully they weren’t trying to get you to pay for whatever you were asking. I’m glad this has made you even more motivated and I know you guys will do awesome with whatever new venture you have in the works- I can’t wait to hear more about it!
Oh girl. I’m really sorry that happened to you. I would have cried, too. But… you are an amazing woman to be able to take something positive away from this. AMAZING.
Love your attitude! So important to have that. It is so hard when people let us down- thankfully there are many others who support and encourage. Have a great afternoon!
Tiffany, I definitely would have cried too. I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there. You know that I hate rejection as much as you and I would have felt the same way. It’s sad that she responded that way. I hear that we need to experience rejection and failure to become stronger and achieve our dreams so just look at it as a part of the process. Be encouraged because I know you are a strong, smart woman and you will succeed! I’d come to YOU for advice 🙂
I’m so sorry you were let down my friend. I would have cried too. I take rejection REALLY hard but I always learn something from it. Your point to pick yourself up and carry on with integrity is a valuable one. Good for you and big hugs.
Press on friend – I’m inspired by all your goal setting and dream reaching. I can feel you’re going to have major breakthroughs because you have the right mindset and ambition.
Cheering you on!!
xoxo
you go girl don’t let this get you down and things like this make us a stronger person zen hugs you’ll do great
First of all, you were NOT silly to have cried. I would have too. I think it’s one thing from a non-mom to a mom, but mom to mom? A fellow mom went out of her way to reply NO to your email with a few questions? That’s just a punch in the gut. I don’t know who this blogger is or if I read her too, but I’d certainly love to know so I can unfollow her ASAP. That blog karma will come back around to her, that’s for sure.
I’m sorry you were let down. That’s such a hard thing. And I have to agree with the others, it’s totally okay to cry about it. I’m sure with the way this person represents herself on her blog, you weren’t expecting to just hear “no” when she responded. That being said, I admire the way you’re handling it and I have no doubt that whatever your idea is, you will succeed!
Hi Tiffany,
I think you made the right choice to dust yourself off and move on. Where there is fear, there is growth and by the fact that you overcame your fear to contact that person you grew. There is something you’ve learned, and sometimes we learn in the hard way.
Learning to say no is great but also it has to feel right to you so you can stay through to yourself. If your gut tells you to say no do it but if it does not listen to it and help as much as you can. That is why moms community is very supportive and open to one another. I am sorry that you had a bad experience, but that should not stop you from contacting others and asking questions.
Life is absolutely about “loving and supporting one another.” I’m so sorry this happened to you! It always amazes me how people want to say their mission is to serve and help others, yet they want to make sure it’s in ways lots of people can see it. This really defeats the purpose of serving I think. Anyway, don’t let this deter you. Keep moving forward!
Ah, I’m so sorry! Know that you were not silly to cry. Rejection is painful to us all. I would have cried too! Keep your chin up and know that you are doing great 🙂
I was on the edge of my seat until I was able to take a huge breath in when I read that this experience didn’t make you give up – phew! Better to find out she’s not a supporter right away, it only leaves more room to let in those who WILL lift you up!
It seems at times to be a very female phenomenon to be scared to promote or assist others for fear that they’ll take business away from you, but I know the exact opposite to be true. We will succeed by lifting each other up. There is always enough to go around because each and every one of us has a completely unique voice and unique set of gifts for the world that will speak to a certain group of people. The more we all help each other, the more we can all reach those we want to inspire!
Keep on keepin’ on, momma!
So often we learn a lot about people and ourselves through a simple interaction gone wrong. You seem like the type to always go out on a limb for someone, and unfortunately the people with the big hearts are usually the ones that get hurt. Stay true to yourself, don’t let the selfishness of others bring you down <3
This is devastating. I’m sorry. I think in the world of Blogging, we can see the parts of people they want us to see – the glossy, beautiful parts. If you are starting a venture of your own, the part of you that got hurt just now, is a part that needs to be honored in your new business, even if it is a vow to treat people as you would like to be treated.
Here is a way one business person took a negative situation and created something out of it. Have you ever heard of The BROaDMORE Hotel in Colorado Springs, Colorado? That is not a typo. The “a” is small in their logo for a reason. When the developer was dreaming of starting his own hotel, he stayed in one that started with an “A” and his treatment there by the staff and the ownership made him vow to outdo them, build a grand hotel that would tower over them in stature and profitability, and somehow using that small letter “a” in the name of his hotel always reminded everyone in the business to be outstanding and better and grander and more amazing in every way. That place is a minimum of $500 a night and truly remarkable.
Just a little food for thought. If we can use the hurt to help us be tremendous, that is wonderful.
It is hard when someone lets you down! I think you handled it well.
Oh my gosh, that is awful. You are NOT silly for crying, I completely understand and would have felt the same. So sorry that happened to you friend.
Tiffany, that is horrible. I would’ve felt demoralized and I would’ve cried too. Especially after getting up the courage to send the email and then to get that kind of response. People like that hurt themselves because she’s obviously coming from a scarcity mentality, as if she can’t scoot over on the bench at a huge table and let anyone else sit down too. I’m so sorry but so glad that she ended up teaching you a valuable lesson. So proud of you for not letting her get you down, and instead showing you how important it is to be there for other women.
Hi Tiffany, you know that ladies refusal to answer your two questions says far more about her than she would probably like? If she didn’t have time right at that moment she could always have let you know she could get back to you in a bit.
There is more to life than money and if what goes around comes around then she maybe in for a bit of a shock.
It took you a lot of nerve to send her that email, so you should be proud of yourself. So what if your first reaction was to feel heartbroken and upset? It just goes to show what a nice person you are. At the end of the day whoever it was that refused to give you some friendly advice has to live with themselves, and I’m guessing her life is probably not all that.
Don’t be scared to reach out and ask those questions to someone else. And goodluck with your new venture, whatever it maybe.
xx
You said it! Time is money and family is more important (maybe that’s why she said no?)! Roll it off your shoulders, and keep moving forward! You don’t need her anyways!