Hello Monday. I honestly could use another day off. We took a road trip down to Bend, OR to visit some of our best friends (and Little A’s God parents). It was a fun weekend, but a long one. Little sister did not sleep well at all, so it make for some long evenings, and a few crummy moments during the day when she was obviously overly exhausted and was just a hot mess. I hated to leave, but it was nice to get home and get her back into her bed and routine.
I try to keep this space as positive as I can. But sometimes life just decides to fling poo your way and you wonder, “Why? Why does this keep happening?!” And then you just want to have a pity party for yourself. Well, I’m in one right now. Don’t get me wrong, good things are happening in our lives. I have 2 really good friends that are expecting, which has me on cloud nine about all the new babies coming into our lives. Little A is liking preschool and is finally enjoying swim lessons as well. We have a roof over our heads and food on our table. Things could definitely be worse.
I had mentioned a few times over the last few months that we may be making some big changes in our lives. Well, we no longer are. Since about June my hubby had been trying really hard to find a job at his company in a different state (or even country). This move was going to help us sell our house, pay off all our debt and get a fresh start in a new place. Something that we really needed. I was going to be able to stay home with Little A and I was so looking forward to that. It would only be a year, and I could live anywhere for just a year.
Well, a few weeks ago he was asked to take a job locally, but in a city that is 115 miles round trip from our home. It literally is the worst possible option of all the options we’ve been considering over the last few months. It will be really great for his career in the future, and he’ll get some good visibility with the executives of the company. And it’s a pretty big deal, I think, for a program to say they want him for the job.
But it’s the worst for us financially. My part time gig is coming to an end at my company sometime soon and we could afford for me to stay home, but barely. We wouldn’t be paying off our debt as quickly and we’d barely be scraping by if I didn’t work. So I am left with finding another PT job somewhere else (which is nearly impossible in the corporate world) or going FT. I have cried so much over the last few months. Little A is involved in so many activities now. I want to be the one taking her to all of those things. I want to be the one dropping her off at school and seeing her smiling face come running out the door when she’s done. I want to be raising her. It breaks my heart to think that I’d maybe have to get a full time job.
So I guess we’ll see what the next few months hold for us. I just ask you all to pray for our family and that we are able to find a balance that works for us.
In the mean time, this sweet girl keeps things in perspective for me. Life could be worse.
Ok, pity party over. 🙂
Awww Tiffany, I’m so sorry. And it’s okay to have a pity party, I have them on my blog every now and then too. Especially for something like this, this is a big deal. I’ll be praying for your family and that there’s a better resolution around the corner. One time Luis was laid off and couldn’t get a job for 3 months; every job he almost got never called back or turned him down in the end, and finally this company that he hadn’t even considered very seriously offered him a job and it was THE BEST job he’s ever had. I always tell him I am so thankful he missed out on all those other jobs that summer even though we were BROKE and having to borrow money from out parents, because the job he ended up with changed our lives. You never know what’s hiding in the silver lining of the clouds. Sending you a big bear hug <3
Hang in there! I know that’s easier said than done when you can’t get a break that your want/need. I’ve been thinking of you guys a lot and hoping the commute and jobs aren’t just wearing you guys down. Fingers crossed a PT position will pop up closer to home for you so at least that can give you more time at home!
Thanks hun. So far the commute for the hubs isn’t so bad b/c he leaves at 4:30 in the morning (yuck!), but my commute is just ridiculous. I know it’s just the season with the rain and all.
Yes, hopefully something PT will come up. 🙂
Tiffany (virtual hug!) I’m so sorry all of this stuff has happened lately. I don’t know what God is going to do with all of this but I know He’ll do something great. I want you to have more time with Little A too. Let’s play the lottery and win, okay?! Haha. Tons of prayers you and the fam!!
Oh Tiffany! I am so sorry for all that you are going through. Trusting that God will provide both financially as well as spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc! Hugs for you!
Oh Tiff. I’m so sorry that things are hard right now. I can empathize with you. Things are really tough right now with my job, too. I know you’d love nothing more than to just stay home with little A. I’m praying for you. Maybe his company will have a change of heart (or maybe your husband will get an offer from out of left field that will be SO much better for you financially and emotionally). *Hugs* girl!
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been going through this my friend. I will hold your family up in prayer.
Sometimes it’s hard for us to picture things when they don’t go as we have thought and planned… however, He sees the whole picture and I’m certain He has something better planned for all of you. I hope you can find some comfort in that assurance that He loves you and wants the best for you.
Big hugs to you my friend,
I’m so sorry! 🙁 I’ll be praying for your sweet family.
So sorry to hear that Tiffany. If it makes you feel any better, most people are in this situation. I talk to blog friends and just different people and most people aren’t able to actually pay off debt in their lifetime and be able to have one parent stay home. To be honest, technically, we can’t afford it either, but we make it work. We do tons of sacrificing and I haven’t thought to pay off debt in a few years because we just haven’t been able to. Sometimes it seems like we take a few steps forward only to have to take several steps backwards. Though we can’t pay of debt, I guess I feel like staying home is the only option because we just see it that way for me. It’s all about perspective. Perhaps gaining a new one somewhere in all of this will make you feel a little better even if it means you decide to go to work part time or full time. One thing someone said that really made a lot of sense to me was “no one looks back on life and wishes they worked harder, but we do often look back and regret time that we didn’t spend with people we love.” I hope everything works out for the best. 🙂
I’ve been way behind on my blog reading this week, so just now came across this. I’m so sorry…I know that’s a really tough decision and I don’t blame you a bit for not wanting to go full time. Life is so hard sometimes when it’s uncertain. We’ve been playing the waiting game (and continue to play the waiting game) for a while now to see what our next chapter will bring. It’s really hard to be patient, but I know we have to be. Praying for your sweet family!