I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am glad it’s Monday. We had a LONG weekend here at the Huebner house. We did had some fun though, doing a little shopping on Saturday, and then lots of yard work on Sunday. We’ve had flood warnings for the past few days, so I’m hoping the rain will let up this week so we can dry out.
|She may look sweet in this photo, but right after this she was a screaming monster because I wanted to get out of bed.|
|She’s getting very good at her yoga poses.|
So I’m writing this post for myself. As a way to hold myself accountable to level-setting my expectations with her. To learn that 2 year olds will act out, but it’s how we respond to that behavior that can influence their future behavior. If we constantly yell, she’ll grow immune to it and may grow up to yell at her own children one day. I do not want that. I want her to grow up in a calm and respectful environment. I want her to know it’s ok to express her feelings, but I want to help her learn the right ways to express those feelings. I want her to know it’s ok to be upset about something, but it’s not ok to scream and hit. I want her to know she is always free to express herself, to talk to us, to really tell us how she’s feeling. But I want to teach her the best way to do that. I want her to really understand her feelings and be able to calmly identify them.
I need to learn myself. I need to learn to be calm and patient with her. Not get frustrated when she doesn’t listen, or when she is trying to express herself. I need to love her through those times. I need to make it a teaching moment. I’m vowing to be a better mother to my daughter by doing this. I hope one day I can look back and be proud that she did grow up to be that compassionate and empathetic person I see in her already.
Patience is a virtue, but it’s also a skill that requires practice and attention. Good for you for recognizing that while your daughter may be very intelligent, she is still just a two year old emotionally. I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster everyday with my two year old!
Thanks so much! It really is a roller coaster isn’t it?! I wish I had more natural patience, but I guess learned patience is just as good right? 🙂
Oh boy do I know about it! Ralph is 19 months and already in terrible 2’s. Alfie was laid back until he was 3 and we had an, erm, challenging year! Ralph is a different personality though. He is too smart at times. It’s so hard when they’re like this. xx
I feel like these terrible 2s are never going to end. Her’s hasn’t been going on too long, but long enough to make me feel like a crazy person.
Good luck with your little one as well!
Your Little A reminds me so much of my oldest. One thing that I learned fast is that intellectual intelligence is completely different than emotional intelligence. It takes time and eventually you’ll wonder when all the tantrums suddenly came to an end.
My oldest needed choices. She had to (and still has to) feel some control over what is happening. Every child is different.
I like that you are starting to feel comfortable with saying your child is smart. I once had someone tell me to never talk about my kids to other moms because they would hate me in an instant. It’s unfortunate that my first few years of parenting, I actually abided by that thinking and ended up never chatting about things that were challenging.
Hugs to you mama. This is a journey… a lifelong one. Your education is just beginning but it’s the most important one you’ll ever get.
I love your post. It’s a good reminder for me that yelling is not the best solution. I have to remember that my kids are only 3 and almost 6. I have been yelling at them a lot because they can’t seem to hear me otherwise. I myself will need to be patience, which is a lot easier said than done. I feel you mama… hang in there. Lots of hugs to you and baby A. I miss seeing you guys. Hoping everything is well with you and your family. ~Vivian C
Aw thanks Vivian! I do worry that she’ll become immune to yelling and you’re right, sometimes it seems like they aren’t listening so yelling is what we resort to. It takes a lot of work on our part, but I think in the end it will be worth it.
Miss you guys as well! 🙂
I can totally relate to this post. Piggie’s tantrums started when he was 2 and now at 3 he still has them at times but mainly he’s FULL of attitude. Which is normal but OMG…makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. I think it’s great that you wrote this as a reminder for how you want to teach and guide her through these “terrible twos”. Ahaparenting.com is one of my favorite sites to reference when I’m feeling overwhelmed. That photo of you two in bed is super cute, btw!!
Totally relate – my daughter is 15 months old and has been a master of temper tantrums for some months now. I have been teaching her baby sign language to try and ease her frustrations but she is really too little to let me know what is wrong so she just has a tantrum. It can be so frustrating at times and I often blame myself for being a bad mother, but then her twin brother is laid back and only gets upset when he’s overtired so it can’t be the way I’m raising them! I think she takes after me which makes it even harder as we wind each other up sometimes!
That is so hard Clare! When they are that young it’s hard for them to communicate their feelings. It really is amazing how different siblings can be isn’t it? My mom and I are very much alike (as much as I hate to admit that) and were always at each other’s throats when I was younger. You want them to be like you and want to be your friend, but when they are it can just be a disaster at times.
I’m sure it will get better. Even now my daughter has gotten a little better (but I think I’ve learned a bit more patience as well).
Thanks for taking the time to comment!